Standardized Testing: The Fun Never Stops!

Emma Driver

Ah, spring. The sun is out, the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, and if you listen closely, you can hear the brain cells of every high school junior crying out in pain from all of the studying. Spring is a wonderful time for the class of 2019. Full of AP tests, SATs, ACTs, and finals, what better way to spend your spring than to hole yourself up in the library with your nose buried in a textbook? In fact, taking all of these high-stakes, vital, possibly life-altering standardized tests is so fun, the state of Connecticut has decided to add yet another standardized test into the mix, right in the middle of AP testing, SATs and ACTs, and the final exam period. What great logic!

I mean, the class of 2019 has already had so much practice regarding standardized testing, even going as far back as third grade! What third grader didn’t enjoy the constant hand cramps from taking the ERB and the CMT, jokingly labelled “Child Mental Torture” by all who took it? And we can’t forget about the agonizing two week period of SBA testing in eighth grade, when half of the time was spent sitting at a computer staring into space while the teacher tried to figure out how to actually start the exam. But don’t worry, these tests were taken for a reason – after all, how will the state figure out what tests are unusable if we don’t have to take them first?

So it makes sense that all of this standardized test practice culminates with one more test that will inevitably be considered obsolete within the next few years, right? After all, it isn’t as if we juniors have enough to worry about, what with AP testing, SATs, ACTs, final exams, and the introduction of the daunting college process upon us. No, taking the Next Generation Science Standards (NGSS) makes complete sense. After all, the juniors have been the guinea pigs for all of these standardized tests for our entire academic careers. Why else would we have taken the CAPT test as sophomores, only for it to be deemed irrelevant the following year to make room for the NGSS?

So enjoy your spring, everyone! We juniors will be spending all our time inside studying, but don’t worry about us. After all, why go outside when you can spend your time cramming inordinate amounts of information into your head that you will undoubtedly forget not even thirty minutes after taking the test?